Some Things I Learned in 2021…

It was one year ago today that I left the corporate world. I walked out of my office without a swipe card or a mental to-do list for the following week, but instead I carried an armful of beautiful flowers, and a mini-lifetime (8 years’ worth) of memories. I learned a lot in that job – and not just about the computer systems and processes the company used. I learned about leadership, I learned about people, and I learned about myself.

I had always said that I was going to use 2021 as a maternity leave for my soul and my creativity, and to see what I was drawn to create and birth into this world. I knew what I wanted to do, and so I tentatively started working towards it.

It wasn’t always easy, but it’s been SO worth it.

After a few weeks of being gloriously unemployed for the first time in forever, I started studying, and got a business coach. I embraced being a newbie, and with intense curiosity (YouTube and Google became my best friends), I learned how to build a website, register my business, start a mailing list, create a Facebook group, and a bunch of other techy things I had always told myself I was no good at. It was challenging, but it felt really satisfying being able to change the stories I had about myself, and what I thought I was capable of. I learned you CAN teach an old dog new tricks!

The time came when I knew that if I wanted to be a coach, I needed to commit to that identity and actually start coaching. So, despite being absolutely shitscared, I jumped in and gave myself a ’30 Clients in 30 Days’ coaching challenge (it was more like 27, but for my first undertaking, I was really proud of myself, especially considering I thought I’d maybe only get 10). During that time, I learned where my gaps were. I learned what parts of coaching felt right and comfortable, and where I needed more work. In September I wrote and launched my first course, and I was pleasantly surprised when it sold out, to be honest. But I learned that it wasn’t up to me to decide or question who needed or wanted what I had to offer. I learned my responsibility in this world is to bring my best offerings to the table, for whoever wants to feast with me.  

As the year came to a close, I began to think about if I’d done enough. Had I made enough progress for my first year in business? Had I done all I ‘should’ have? Where was I heading next? I began to feel a pressure bearing down on me. Recalling the words of my amazing coach, I remembered that this was MY journey, MY business. I could do it however I wanted. The only ‘should’ required was listening to my intuition. After turning inwards yet again and doing more inner work, the fog began to lift and a clearer picture formed. I learned that the answers I’m looking for are ALWAYS within me – I just have to remember that’s where I need to look. I learned when I trust myself enough to listen to what my soul tells me, I create good things – for myself and the world.

This past year has tested every element of my mind and soul. There were days where I felt elated, and days where I felt defeated and a complete fraud. Some days I furiously tried to resist the doubt I felt, and at other times I felt comforted in knowing that this doubt was all part of the journey to wherever it is I am meant to go.  

And even though I have moments of doubt (because I’m very human), I know that this is all happening exactly as it should. Even the shitty days feel strangely good, because I know that this is all part of the process of my personal growth. Everything in this life is feedback, I simply need to listen for the message. I need to be open to hear, and learn.

It’s taken a lot of inner work for me to come to being ok with the uncertainty (the cause of doubt) in my life now. I’m only just now learning to relax into it. To believe, and have faith that the path I’ve chosen is the one I’m meant to be walking.

And so my word for 2022 is TRUST. I didn’t really choose it, I think it chose me.

I am trusting that any doubt I feel is exactly the loving universal challenge I need to look inwards at who I am, who I want to be, and what I want to contribute to this world. I am trusting that on the days I get caught up in my compulsive cognition (my new favourite way to say ‘overthinking’), that it’s the jolt I need to remind me to stop DOING, and remember simply how to BE, and act congruently with my soul. I am trusting that the pull towards trauma work I am feeling is not only for the benefit of the people I can hold a safe space for them to heal in, but also exactly what my own soul needs.

With the world moving into the third year of Covid times, it’s hard not to get caught up in the collective energy we are seeing and feeling in our communities, and around the world. Just like the virus, the confusion, fear, and the feeling of being unsafe are contagious. I want to contribute to the energy that unites and heals this world, not divides and destroys our humanity and compassion. If I can help bring even a small shift in someone’s energy, and help them find a sense of safety within, then I’ve done something good in this world.

I learned so much in 2021, and I continue to learn every day. I’ve invested hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars on business coaches, personal coaches, and both institutional and unofficial education this past year. And it won’t stop there. I choose to keep my mind and heart open to learning, no matter what age or stage of life or business I’m at. We can ALWAYS learn new and different ways of doing things, whether it’s tangible skills or new ways to interact with the world around us. We don’t have to adopt all the things we learn, but we should at least be open to hearing them. You never know when a piece of life-changing information will come to you.

Be open. Trust.